I should have known that this day would be ridiculous when I (#1) woke up 18 minutes before I needed to leave the house. I refuse to be late for work, so I rushed around like a mad woman. As I was getting ready, I (#2) spilled an entire container of q-tips all over the bathroom floor. Five hundred q-tips. Five hundred q-tips that I did not have time to pick up, so I shut the bathroom door instead. When I arrived at the office I (#3) had some particularly grating emails to deal with, and there was (#4) enough paperwork left on my desk by someone lovely from the day before that I could've built a paper house. I didn't quite have a grasp on how ridiculous the day was getting until (#5) "The Two" came in to the office. One older woman who didn't quite have a grasp on her sanity (hereafter known as "Crazy"), and the woman who drove her to my office ("Driver"). Crazy first asked me where I was from. "San Francisco area," I said. That's when she told me that she has "many famous musician friends" who live there...and that's when it began. I finally got her peeled off of my desk and safely escorted into an exam room with her little dogs. Whew. I really thought all was well.
Until Crazy and Driver got into an argument in the lobby. Crazy felt that buying lunch for Driver was enough payment for the ride to and from the hospital, and the three hour wait between the two. Driver insisted that she was just a neighbor and should not be roped into the situation. Crazy kept referring to her as "hired help." The two railed back and forth for a few minutes. That's when the slaps started flying. Hair pulling, screaming, and caterwauling. Crazy: "You're just an ugly old psycho with too many nose jobs and face lifts!!!" When I finally interjected with a promise to call the police, Crazy lifted up the leg of her pants to show me (#6) a parole anklet. "Please don't call the police. My parole is almost over."
Next I had to get to the bank and to the office of my condo to pay the rent during my lunch hour. It started monsooning about 10 minutes before I was to leave. So, I (#7) ran my errands drenched in rain. :( Since I didn't leave my office till 7:00, I decided to pick up pizza on the way home. That's when the diet gods added their two cents into my day. When I got home I discovered that I (#8) was given the wrong kind of pizza.
I'm going to bed at 10:00. This day needs to be over! :)
