Monday, September 30, 2013

Crazyville, USA

I am convinced that as of September 5 (the day we picked up Max), we stepped into the twilight zone and I can't get back out. My neatly ordered life turned into what we now refer to as "Max" chaos. (Sidebar: is this how new parents feel??) Suddenly I feel like I never sit down, I never stop moving, I never stop saying no, potty training is like the song that never ends, I live at the vet's office (either working or hauling in Max for a variety of ailments), muddy paw prints are a constant companion...and I feel like I'll never catch up on my sleep.

Last night I noticed my throat feeling a little scratchy, and by this morning I realized I've got a cold. I dragged through a 12-hour work day and stopped at the grocery store on the way home. Just as I'm about to get gas, my cell phone rings. It's the alarm company from my house, telling me that the alarm has been triggered. I turned on the flashers and raced to my house like a lunatic. I made it home in about 2 minutes flat, thanks to 2 green lights and going 60mph in a 45. I figured at least if someone was headed out the door with my pets I could stop them. Lol!

I had to wait longer than I desired for a police officer ( Notice that word OFFICER, singular. At least he wasn't a Barney Fife type.) to arrive, which gave me plenty of time to switch from heart-pounding hysteria to imagining how I would use pure fury to beat up a burglar. I started to plan out how I would grab a rock and smash someone's head if they tried to steal my pets! I let the officer in the front door and I have never heard my pets causing such a ruckus! It sounded like a barn yard in my house. So much barking and evil sounding cat noises! After a couple of minutes it was determined that nothing had been disturbed and this was all some false alarm. Thirty minutes of my life, wasted. Lol! The officer apologized for taking so long to get there, but apparently he was caught up in some drama at the nearby hospital. Since we live in South Florida I just didn't ask... ;-) I did wonder to myself if he is the only officer working in all of Pembroke Pines tonight...lol.

I seriously underestimated the amount of time it would take to calm down TWO dogs who are hyping each other up instead of my one very WELL BEHAVED dog! As soon as I stepped in the house I realized that Max was caught up in a huge panicking fit of histrionics.  I didn't think I would ever get him to calm down! For the last couple of hours they have been barking at EVERY noise. They are still on high alert from having a scary police man bust into their house! Lol.

I have decided this is a punishment for not making the bed, picking up Max's toys, and loading the dishwasher this morning. I excused myself from morning duties because I wasn't feeling well and I leave my house at 7am. Boy did that backfire! I felt like my house looked slightly like a hurricane (ok, maybe a tropical storm) hit it. Of course if nobody is going into your house it will be in perfect, spotless order.

 That is just another typical night in Crazyville. There is apparently never again going to be a dull moment over here.