Nail Spa Day: Marcy, Delia & Ms. Lemonface

After a ridiculously annoying workweek, I *finally* got to stop by the nail salon on my way home today to have my gel mani refreshed. Now typically, this would be a lovely hour, spent in a nice cushy chair, with a nice breeze blowing through the salon, meandering, sporadic conversations with other salon-goers, and the soothing foreign murmurs of the Vietnamese nail techs. Yes, it should be relaxing. But, NOT TODAY!!! Spa day began with the loud, obnoxious whining of a girl who was with her mother. "Buuuuuuuut Mooooooooooom, IIIIIIIIIIII waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant a peeeeeeeeeeediiiiiiiiiiiiicuuuuuuuure toooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!" And so on, and so forth. Next, a lady with attitude comes in for a manicure--and when she finds out she can't be seen, like, 5 minutes ago, she has a HUGE hissy fit and storms out, slamming the door. What, you can't call ahead like EVERYONE ELSE IN THIS SALON?!?!

Spa day continued with the addition of March & Delia. Now they were especially special. Most girlfriends spend time getting their nails done together to have a relaxing time. Apparently, Marcy & Delia missed that part of "woman training." :) They had matching perms & matching complaints. Surely Delia's husband wasn't as bad as Marcy's! Surely Marcy's kids weren't as bad as Delia's! And have you heard about the new president of the women's club? "Girl, she is just NOT cut out to be a president!"  (Missed out on the full details of that, as they actually whispered some of *that conversation.) Within 30 minutes, I knew more about Marcy & Delia than I ever want to know about anyone. Seriously.

Now bring in Ms. Lemonface, an extremely sour-faced woman approximately in her 60's. Ms. Lemonface marched in and demanded a manicure and pedicure. Poor, innocent Annie had the nerve to ask if Ms. Lemonface wanted a gel polish manicure. I obligingly held out my hands for Ms. Lemonface to see. The wrath of Ms Lemonface falls: "I DON'T WANT FRENCH!!!!!!!!!!" Poor Annie says, "we have other colors besides French." This seems to appease Ms. Lemonface momentarily, until Annie says, "The gel polish is $20." Now that just sends Ms. Lemonface over the edge. "Why on earth would NAIL POLISH cost $20?!?!" After futilely attempting to explain that it's because the gel polish has to cure under the UV light three times and takes much longer, Ms. Lemonface loudly exclaims that, "THAT IS $10 I CAN SAVE! I'll take the regular manicure!" Well excuuuuuuuuuuse Annie for trying to offer you an upgraded service. By this time my nails were nearly done, and I was longing for a hasty exit!

So really people, the moral of the story is this: if you see me in your nail salon, tie your kids to the front door, sit down, shut up, and if you don't have something nice to say don't say anything at all!!! :)

Happy Saturday!