Stupid Alligators!!

I have lived in South Florida for 2 years and 3 months. In all that time, I have NEVER seen an alligator "in the wild." And believe me, I have looked. We have made 5 trips across alligator alley, and I have done outlandish things to try to catch a glimpse of a giant 14-footer. I even paid $30 for an airboat tour that guaranteed alligator viewing--but no such luck. I walked away with a free season pass and a sad face. This Memorial Day we made the trip across the alley yet again. This is about an hour drive that cuts right through prime swamp land.

All the way there I sang an alligator song that I was sure would work. I offered to sacrifice my chihuahua to the chief alligator god in return for a glimpse of just one of the mighty creatures. (I guess he knew I didn't mean it...) I looked and looked... Failure.

On the way back I told Rich, we are not going home until I see an alligator. I made him pull over at swamp stops along the way and I peered out the windows. Finally I decided that I must get out of the car and walk directly along the water's edge, making noise and hoping one hungry gator would be around.

I was out of the car for approximately 4 minutes. I even threw sticks in the water, hoping to trigger a gator to move his ugly head and try to eat me. I was emboldened by the tall metal fence at the water's edge. Suddenly I felt as if my skin was crawling. Though I knew it wasn't true I imagined that this was the feeling I would get from being in an alligator's angry state.

Alas, I was simply crawling with Mosquitos. I ran screaming for the car and had a near seizure slapping bugs off myself. I am allergic to mosquito bites and I had massive welts all over my neck, arms, and legs. It was horrible!! Rich drove me straight to CVS to get some antihistamines.

I think I've been cured of my need to see an alligator. I used to see them all the time as a kid in North Florida so I guess that will have to do. What a day.