The Two Hour Cleansing Process

I never dreamed that just getting clean could be so exhausting and excruciating. Before my foot surgery, the Dr. told me that I would not be allowed to take a shower for 2 full weeks afterwards. With the additional surgery, that extended things by about 3 days. My last real shower was on January 29, and my next allowed shower will be between February 11-15, depending on when my sutures are ready to come out.

When the Dr. told me that I could not shower for that length of time, I envisioned two-week-old hair sprouting off my legs and laughed with all the scorn of a spoiled princess who'd been told to go to her room (or the "West Wing.") After spending nearly two hours desperately trying to get clean, my laughs are more like those of an insane hyena. For one thing my hair is extremely long and thick, and I had planned to go to the hair salon tonight to get it washed. But, the husband's job kicked in and at this current time he's at the emergency room with an employee. I decided I could not wait one more day to be clean. I am "allowed" to sponge bathe and wash my hair as long as I don't get my sutures wet (which I didn't!!), but I have to admit, the experience was pure insanity. I now understand why perfectly civilized women turn into mountain men after surgery.

Bring in Task Force Grandma. One thing I learned is that having water poured over your head & face from a pitcher while you are lying on the floor next to the bathtub with your shoulders hanging over is....well, it's not very pleasant. Before long we were both laughing hysterically. My hair is ridiculously thick & curly we tried a variety of ways to get it clean. I washed off with my favorite lavender soap bar the best I could & even shaved my legs! Yes, Mr. Dr.-Man, I had the last laugh on that one! lol.

After about two hours I was completely and utterly pooped, the entire bathroom was covered in soap, shampoo, and water, my foot was aching,  & my pets were staring, but I had earned the glorious badge of "clean" and even struggled into clean shorts & t-shirt before I plopped onto the couch with an ice pack on my aching foot and reached for the Percocet.

Yes, this is my hair over a basin of water in the bathtub. It was awesome.